Tearsrsilent's Blog

Once again it has come to attack someone I love. I have had so many encounters over the past year with what seems to be such a wide-spread disease. Last year on July 24th of 2010 my brother showed up to my work with blood-shot eyes as if he had downed a bottle of potent alcohol or something of that effect leaving his eyes and affect to appear to be the look of someone highly intoxicated. I looked at him thinking to myself ” what in the world is my brother doing?” Especially knowing that he was not one to be appearing this way. He has a high up position at work and should be at work. What is going on. I asked “what are you doing here?” He then told me we needed to take a walk outside, which is where he informed me that the look he presented was one from tearful eye’s and hurt as he proceeded to tell me that our dad was at the hospital and had been given 2-weeks to live. I knew my dad was feeling pretty bad and I had been the one to convince him the night before to go to the hospital. Little did I know we were gonna be given 2-weeks to say our goodbyes. He had been diagnosed with Cancer after being told 3-months prior he was in remission after a year-long battle with it. We spent the next 2-weeks by his side around the clock as we watched what a deadly and vicious attack it does to someone during the last stages of this process. Talk about sleepless days and nights, that is exactly what it was. He passed on August 4th, 2010 just as they claimed he would by test results. As I proceeded to deal with this tragedy of my father I received a call from my neighbor’s daughter a day after my father passed  with news that my neighbor whom I had known approximately 29-years was diagnosed with around 2-weeks to live, again Cancer. As I planned for my fathers services set for August 29th I prepared to be there for this family and help with all the things I had just been through myself. I spent hours putting together my fathers memorial as I also cooked, visited, and gave moral support for my neighbors family. While doing this I received a call from one of my most loving friends that her mother too had been given days to live, once again, Cancer. I then started making my round trips to each home. This went on for 2-weeks as well, both passed one day apart and I was at loss by this point. I felt like a “zombie,” if you know what I mean. No sleep for weeks, and the brutal mental torment of what this disease was doing to people I loved all around me. I went to 3 funerals in one week through all of this, and the day after my loving friend/sister in Christ laid her mother to rest I received another call. Really, I said to myself. This can’t be happening. Another 17-year long friendship with yet another dear friend, his mother has been given 2-weeks to live. So after three funerals in one week I get another call a day after the last service that Cancer has struck again. I went to a total of 7 funerals in one year, all within weeks of one another, and found myself on my knees pleading to wake up from this nightmare brought on by Cancer. I got by a short while without anyone I love being effected by such a horrible disease and have now received yet, another call. My loving friend/sister who lost her mother last year. Just as I am recounting and reliving last years events. She called last night because she just got results from her doctor, Diagnosis, Cancer.  As I spent my night last night with my eye lids pressed firmly together I could not seem to go to sleep for pressuring my mind to come up with a plan to find peace and comfort in this. I proclaim my faith and proclaim my Lords healing, but what pain it brings knowing that this illness has taken control over such a large amount of our population. I have spent countless hours trying to figure out a way to help with the fight for this vicious infection we call Cancer. What can I do, I ask myself over and over. This disease is attacking our people from every direction. Is there a cure? Why do we hear of all these things like Asparagus, and we are not able to fight it? Lord I just pray for healing upon the many bodies who are battling the battle of this tormenting thing we call Cancer.